Updated: Oct 9, 2019
I was walking back home with my colleague earlier this week, and our conversation spun around the concept of Tinder (a dating app that’s the rage of the decade). Amongst the various points that we discussed, one thing stood out.
All she said, is that she couldn’t face a guy because she felt so self-conscious about not looking her best at that point in time.
Since then, I’ve kept thinking about where this notion comes from that in front of a man, particularly someone we are interested in, we feel like we have to look our absolute best. Confidence can come in a lot of ways, yes. It can be be in your style of dressing, your make-up, the kind of self-assurance you feel in fitting in to a societal norm, your career even, and knowing (or hoping) that your first impression is going to be the best.
However it seems that we lack confidence in our true selves. You know, the confidence in the way we talk, the imperfections we all have, inside and out; the confidence in our ability to shake the world.
Sorry, I had to be a little cringe-like to grab your attention.
Ladies, how many hours have we spent in front of the mirror? Making sure every strand of hair is perfect, that those eyes are lined with the perfect wings, in hopes to impress your date?
All for what?
The first impression.
A first impression that can very easily be changed.
Yes, your memory always goes to the first time you met someone. Nonetheless, if an individual changes a fair amount over time (mentally or physically), this impression will change. You can’t pretend to be someone you’re not for an entire lifetime. No one is perfect. Hence you can try to make yourself seem perfect online, but the truth is, everyone is flawed. Yet it seems to me that whether it’s in your upbringing or what you see online (magazines, social media, reality TV), not being perfect is a hard aspect to accept.
Men! I don’t know what your side of the story is. So please share 🙂 What difficulties/challenges have you faced in this debate? I’d love to hear anecdotes. I’ll see if I can bring up one of mine further below.
I believe that a vast majority of our generation does not know how to keep it real.
Let’s face it – our Facebook profile and Instagram feeds are the best versions of ourselves. How many times has a friend asked that you “untag” them because they look “awful” in the picture?
We all know that our best physically-looking self is never how we truly are. On a lazy day at home, no one (well perhaps I’m wrong on this) really takes the effort to do themselves up. Unless they’re snapping for an Instagram post. Which brings me to this link of being self-conscious and my second point.
I’ve mentioned it before, and I’ll say it again. There is a lot of good with social media, but there’s so much bad too. Everyone out there is set to hit those likes, that they will do anything for it. Filter on top of filter. Photoshop to thin out everything. It’s utter fakeness. That’s all it is. We are so drawn to those likes. Also, that perfect body – that never really exists! (Please see the 1 minute below video). I can’t go down my travel blog and not see something related to fitness and/or the perfect body. I don’t even follow these pages or hashtags.
We have become so Instagram savvy that our obsession with it has forced us to doubt ourselves, at every moment in time (given how much time we spend on social media). Even when we don’t intentionally want to, all we have to do is see one photo and the self-doubt creeps in.
It’s not just Instagram. There really is a large part of the population trying to portray the best version of themselves. So what if you don’t have an MBA? Swing it by on that matrimony profile; you’ll get more hits then 😉
Speaking of which, on a chat with my cousin last week, he also pointed out that at the end of the day, any person you meet through a matrimony profile or dating app will almost always be based on the looks. The first thing an individual sees is the photo. If you choose to not keep it up, you’re going to get less traction. The minute you even try to keep it a little real, chances are your luck’s not gonna go your way.
Please watch the 1 minute video below. My point is that whatever you see online may not necessarily be true. So don’t believe it. Believe in yourself. 🙂
Hey! It’s also very possible that all that I’m writing above may not be true either – maybe I’m just writing this for the sake of the likes and impressing society 😉
(Finishing up the blog with a mind twister.)